Priest Simulator Vampire Show

Priest Simulator is a comedy action game built around the premise of a vampire priest stranded in a village called San de Ville, somewhere in modern Poland, who needs to recover his batoon and earn his way back to Hell. The studio behind it, Zerf and partners, plays it as a mockumentary — the writing knows exactly which absurdities it's leaning into.

You get eight unique divine weapons, one per hand, with black metal as the upgrade currency. Combat takes them in every combination you assemble. Outside fights, you renovate the church, increase faith through confessions and sermons, and rebuild the place from a dump into a working temple — each upgrade unlocking new attractions and gameplay options.

The villagers themselves are the second front. The pastor sold them demonic totems before disappearing, and possessions have broken out across the parish. Exorcisms become a recurring task, the language is openly profane, and the tone refuses to take any of its inputs — religion, satire, or the open-world-shooter genre — quite seriously enough.